Saturday, 12 June 2010

VCB 04: ... go together like a horse and carriage

VidConBlog: In 26 days I will be attending VidCon in Los Angeles. I will be writing a blog every day until July 9th 2010. Don't forget to answer my question of the day at the bottom.

Yesterday was the wedding of one of my best friends, Michelle Smith, to her boyfriend of 8 and a half years, Paul Bateman. Having only been to three weddings (including this one, and two only this year) I feel I should be able to ramble a bit about love and marriage, which (as the title says) go together like a horse and carriage.

So the wedding: it was a very surreal day - in the positive way - all round. There was only close family at the ceremony meaning that when I first saw the bride and groom they were already married. How bizarre to think after knowing them for their whole relationship. I remember straightening my hair and looking at my watch realising "they are probably saying 'I do' right now".

The reception was much as you'd expect with speeches, cake cutting, the first dance and a bucking bronco. Okay so the last one maybe a bit more unusual! The bucking bronco was perfect for their wedding. Michelle and Paul are probably the most outrageously funny and wild two sensible people I know. Perhaps I should have expected a twist on proceedings after all.

The boys were straight on the bronco with the girls all realising they were going to flash their knickers. Luckily Michelle had a spare pair of leggings in the wedding car and so the girls proceeded to don them in turn and have a go themselves (with the exception of my pregnant sister - probably not such a good idea with a bump).

I was pretty convinced I would master the bronco having previously won one. Unfortunately I forgot two things: I was 9 at the time so it is really too long ago to be a fair comparison and also I am probably weaker now what with the joints of an 80 year old. Let me just say that I am feeling it today and leave it at that. Suffice it to say I did not win.

The whole reception was so much fun with a lot of dancing and loud singing (my favourite was singing Don't Stop Believin' with the groom's brother who fyi was in his official RAF uniform earlier). However there was something missing from the night, and that was James. Having been at weddings both single and taken I can definitely say that it is worse knowing you have someone but that person being 5000 miles away. When all the couples joined the newlyweds during the first dance I may have burst into tears...

Despite the tears it got me thinking about how lucky I have. I have someone who thinks the world of me, who shares my passions and sense of humour, who loves me unconditionally and all from 5000 miles away. Some people say being apart makes you stronger and while I disapprove with this being used as a segway to 'lets sleep with other people' I do agree it is true in many ways.

Imagine for a moment that James and I lived next door to each other. I am not sure we would be as strong and close as we are now. Living 5000 miles apart when starting a relationship does mean you build up an unbreakable sense of trust and honesty and belief that you are meant to be together. You have to work much harder to be together and when you finally are you can truly appreciate it.

Michelle and Paul had a similar start to their relationship with him living 3 hours away doing an engineering degree. They were my proof that when you can make long distance work you know you have something special. James and I are also now testament to that and are ready to be together full time.

If I have learnt one thing from my friends' relationships and my own it is this: Relationships don't just happen, you have to work at it - but if you are prepared to work for 24 hours a day, 7 days a week for the rest of your life then your love is indestructible.

My answer: I think having a bouncy castle would be fun. Or getting everyone to make a naked body cast would be quite interesting.


Kailyn said...

It wouldn't really be a matter of money...more quirk than anything...but I want to have a lightsaber battle with my guy at the reception. My fiance Charlie and I met on a Star Wars fan forum, and it's part of who we are. :) Still trying to convince him we need to do it. Crossing my fingers!

Helen E. Abbott said...

@Kailyn That is awesome! I love it

MaryKateS said...

Aw this was a really sweet post.

answer: Um that is a tough question.... id probably... um... have my reception be decorated like the ballroom scene in Labyrinth... and make sure everyone has masks and big costumes for it.. just because i deep down have always wanted to have a moment like that... but it ending the way i want it too. :)


A.J. James Brooks said...

This was very sweet love.

Answer: When I was young I went to a wedding where the reception was pirate themed.
They had a giant olympic sized swimming pool. In their pool they had built what looked like a large pirate ship crashing into the pool, and had the pirate deck as a dance floor. It was one of the coolest things I ever saw. It had to be ridiculously expensive, but it was gorgeous.

PinkPixieDF (Heather) said...

I'm probably one of the few girls in existance that hasn't spent her whole life planning her wedding day. I've never really thought about what my wedding will be like. Although, for most of my life I've haven't had very many girl friends. My closest friends have always been guys, so sometimes I would joke that I would have all groomsmen at my wedding and no bridesmaids. Sometimes I really like that idea.

Helen E. Abbott said...

@Mary Kate That would be amazing!

@James Wow! Pirate theme? Lets do it! ... maybe not

@Heather Go for it! In Buffy Xander's best man was a girl. Its the modern way.

Julie H said...

I was extrememly lucky with my wedding day, my husband and I had every quirky thing that we wanted. We had a seaside theme so we had photos taken on the beach, seaside theme table and room decorations. We had fish and chips for main and then we surprised our guests with an ice cream van to get their desserts! I've never seen so many adults run to an ice cream van! Our wedding cake was a sandcastle with our intials written in the 'sand'. I also had my own individual quirky thing, that my husband didn't know about, I wore Dr Martens under my wedding dress! So a very quirky wedding day!

Helen E. Abbott said...

@Julie - The beach theme sounds amazing. Kudos for serving fish and chips!