Now, I realised something during this week; I am really terrible at being alone. Awful. I have discovered that being alone is a skill and it is definitely one which I do not possess.
Let me make something clear: I like my personal space. I even enjoy my alone time, which I am just not very good at. It is just that to be alone effectively one has to find something to do whether that be productive or pure entertainment.
Where I think I am rubbish at being on my own is because in terms of productivity I have found that the more time I have to myself the less productive I am. If I have two hours to myself I will do a list of chores and tasks as long as my arm and be quite content in doing so. Give me a whole day to do the same amount and I will probably only start half the tasks and then give up half of those.
In terms of entertainment I am also at a loss. I will sit down to play a video game and be completely bored of it within half an hour. I think I have a half hour entertainment limit during extended alone time. Probably because I feel guilty about not being productive (which, as I have explained, I am not).
I think I have determined a limit of about four hours. It is enough time to do some housework and have some fun before getting completely bored with life. At the end of a whole day I am pretty much staring into space feeling sorry for myself and refreshing my emails every two seconds in the hope that my husband will email me from work.
Pathetic, isn't it? Well maybe but I am sure I am not alone in these thoughts (see the pun). I think I am basically just selfish when it comes to personal space and time to myself. I want to be alone at times when it suits me but then want to be with friends and family when I get bored. The first step is admitting these things though!
I am a hopeless case.