Sunday, 27 February 2011

52:8 Home alone

I have had an interesting week. My parents went away for most of it meaning that my husband and I actually had the house to ourselves. I love my parents to bits but as soon as we can move out I am going to be singing from the rooftops in joy! Of course sod's law always loving to mess with us James was working till 8pm on my days off so we didn't actually get that much time together after all.

Now, I realised something during this week; I am really terrible at being alone. Awful. I have discovered that being alone is a skill and it is definitely one which I do not possess.

Let me make something clear: I like my personal space. I even enjoy my alone time, which I am just not very good at. It is just that to be alone effectively one has to find something to do whether that be productive or pure entertainment.

Where I think I am rubbish at being on my own is because in terms of productivity I have found that the more time I have to myself the less productive I am. If I have two hours to myself I will do a list of chores and tasks as long as my arm and be quite content in doing so. Give me a whole day to do the same amount and I will probably only start half the tasks and then give up half of those.

In terms of entertainment I am also at a loss. I will sit down to play a video game and be completely bored of it within half an hour. I think I have a half hour entertainment limit during extended alone time. Probably because I feel guilty about not being productive (which, as I have explained, I am not).

I think I have determined a limit of about four hours. It is enough time to do some housework and have some fun before getting completely bored with life. At the end of a whole day I am pretty much staring into space feeling sorry for myself and refreshing my emails every two seconds in the hope that my husband will email me from work.

Pathetic, isn't it? Well maybe but I am sure I am not alone in these thoughts (see the pun). I think I am basically just selfish when it comes to personal space and time to myself. I want to be alone at times when it suits me but then want to be with friends and family when I get bored. The first step is admitting these things though!

I am a hopeless case.

2 comments:

Beth said...

Helen-

You're definitely not alone (haha) in this. I found this out for myself when I moved to Auburn 2 years ago and lived alone the first year. Going home to an empty apartment day after day helped make that first year so difficult. I also found it more difficult to be productive, and I felt like I spent WAY too much time in my own thoughts. I had frequent breakdowns and called people constantly. Long story short, this year has been much better for a variety of reasons, but having a roommate has eased so much of the awfulness that was living alone. I think if I ever live alone again (*sigh* because I probably will), I'll be sure to adopt a cat. <3 Miss you!

Helen E. Abbott said...

@Beth - Cats are a woman's best friends. hey, dogs are a man's best friend. Us girls should get some anima lovin' too! Wait... that sounds wrong...