Sunday, 20 November 2011

52: 28 Musings and reasons

Back in January, as you all know, I started something called Project 52, a challenge I created for myself when I was feeling annoyingly chipper and positive at the beginning of the year. For those who are new to reading this the basic idea is that I write a blog for each week of the year, hence the '52'.

However, and I don't feel great about this, I kind of somewhat maybe probably definitely suffered a downright annoying bout of acute anxiety. This somewhat hampered my enthusiasm for the project and although I tried to revive it in September, managing a measly one post before completely giving up.Well, almost completely...

It is now November, and close to the end of that to be sure! And here I am facing a dilemma. I have always said that I am not competitive and it really can't be more true. Whether I finish this project or not is irrelevant to me. I am not motivated by winning and conquering challenges; what drives me is doing my best and fulfilling my potential.

So the dilemma is: have I given Project 52 my best shot? Or do I have more to give? By my calculations - or, you know... by researching on Google - I have 5 weeks of the year to go. After this blog I will therefore have to write 23 more posts to achieve my goal. This is by all means doable, and considering my husband has written over 30,000 words of a novel since the beginning of this month I do really feel that maybe I haven't tried my best.

I know I have reasons, and good ones at that, for struggling with this project. But do I have good enough reasons to keep going? I guess we'll find out when (if?) blog post 52: 29 is published.

Hugs galore.

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